When I was growing up there was a very popular cartoon called Candy, Candy.
Candy and Annie were orphans and best friends. Soon Annie gets adopted by a wealthy family, and her new parents want to keep as a secret that she was adopted. Meanwhile Candy gets adopted too, but she is treated as a servant.
Both kids will meet during their lives under different circumstances, but in the beginning, the secret of their origin will prevent them to have an open friendship.
I think several of us have this kind of secrets, not that we are all adopted, but that we have something we have done or that just happened to us in life that we are afraid to share, because we think that if people knew about it, they would think less about us.
But the truth is that we are the first ones that are thinking less of ourselves, because what we did or happen goes against our values, the law or some society standards. I remember watching movies about ladies that wouldn’t divorce because anything was better than having the tile of “divorcee”. This days that seems a standard.
The only way to get rid of our fears is to face them. I know that not everybody has earned the right to hear about them, so I’m not saying that you should shout to the wind your most deepest flaws or mistakes. You have to carefully select who is the right person that can help you, maybe is a priest, or a therapist.
The only situation in which I would feel obligated to tell “my story” is when I’m involved in a deep and serious relationship. If you are deeply concerned about what another person is going to think about you after knowing, I think that you really have to speak and see what happens. Is just part of being honest. I cannot guarantee that everything will be perfect and will have the outcome you dreamt, what I can guarantee is that by revealing that deep secret you will be able to move on.
Last year a very dear friend told me that he is gay, and I love him just the same. I can’t believe he was so worried about telling me or not about it, but yes, telling family and friends our stories can be hard, and surprising. Sometimes the persons who we think are going to be by our side, are the ones that don’t and vice versa.
When we open to others, the right relationships get stronger.
Do you have any secrets that are keeping you up all night?. Are you ready to move on?