Part of it is because we love routines, we like to know how our day is going to be: we will wake up, take a shower, go to work, come back, have dinner with friends, things like that. We feel secure when we know what to expect.
Routines are good because they help us to save time and plan ahead. I am very good at picking up the kids from school at a regular time, but when they have a minimum day or after school activities, I can say I have forgotten them at least twice.
Also, we resist to change because in new situations we don’t have all the answers, we don’t have all figured out, so we need to try new things; that is stepping out of our comfort zone and see if we like them or not, and if we don’t, we need to adapt or find a way to make things work. We need to find what will make us feel comfortable again, and all this chores sound like a lot of trouble.
But when you finally realize that it’s OK to let them go and that everything is going to be fine, you are liberated from the fear of loosing them and you find peace because you stop worrying about things that you might not even have any control about.
Of course is not the same to lose a relationship than losing a thing like your favorite jewelry. When you lose a loved one sometimes the memories of that deep connection is what will give you some strength and peace. Usually what comforts me is knowing that I did all I could, and said all I needed to. I accept that I will still be heartbroken and that dealing with grief is difficult.
Particularly I had two attachments that were causing me more trouble than good.
The first one happened several years ago. I live in south California, and I love it. So when my husband told me that his company was planning on moving him out of the country I was devastated.
They were planning to send him to Brazil, which I believe is a wonderful country, but I don’t speak Portuguese and I don’t even dance Samba.
Luckily for us, he found another job and we stayed, but the option of relocating is not vanished forever, now and then I hear rumors that it could happen again. The difference is that now, I know that I won’t die if we have to move, I know I will be able to adapt and that makes me feel peace. Things haven’t changed that much, only my attitude towards change.
Anyway, that past experience is helping me today because I have been taking a weight class with barbells for the last years, and I love it because I lost my pregnancy weight with it and I know it is what is keeping me in a good shape.
Last year the club was acquired by another company, and although good things came with the change like that they now have a wonderful menu of group classes, the barbell is something they don’t use.
Last year we were told they will get rid of that equipment, but we didn’t know when. Finally we have a date, and it is three weeks from now.
I like group classes, but we are going to use dumbbells instead, and I can’t imagine myself using the machines for heavy weight. I feel a little anxious about gaining weight again, but my mantra on this situations is: “Things change because something better will replace them”.
Maybe letting things go is the better way to make them stay, but if they stay or not, is not as important as freeing yourself of the need of them. Deep inside I know things are going to be fine, something good will come out of this and I can say I’m in peace and willing to get the best out of it. Still is sad to say: “Farewell barbell”.
Probably change is what helps us not to take things for granted.
So, what is it that you are attached to, that maybe you’ll benefit from letting it go?.