Are you self-confident?. What do you do to stop the doubts when they inevitably appear?.
I usually feel confident when I do something that I have done lots of times before, when I say something that I am totally sure about or when I’m in a familiar environment; this can be either because I am close to my neighborhood or because I am surrounded with people who I have known for a long time.
On the other side, I feel really nervous and doubtful when I have to do something new, something that I have stopped doing a long time ago, or something that I don’t feel skilful about. This means that I’m not comfortable, that I don’t feel prepared and is when I start thinking that I wont be able to do it.
Each of us has different techniques that help to boost our confidence in those situations, and when a challenge appears, we have to use all the resources we have to make it through. My favorite techniques that had frequently helped me are:
- Be prepared
What ever it is that you are going to do, you need to be ready. To feel confident about something, you need to know about it, so research all you can or practice it. Practice is the key for improvement, that’s why people say that practice makes perfect, (at least as perfect as we can be).
In the beginning no one is a good driver, but with practice you sure became an expert.
I used to feel a little uncomfortable about taking care of kids, but the more time I spend with them, the more confident I became about babysitting for my friends.
By the way, volunteering is a great way to practice and gain experience in a new field while meeting people related to the field.
- Feeling comfortable about making mistakes.
The intention here is not to be careless and guilt free, but expect that since we are humans we will fail now and then.
For example, there have been times when my dance instructor asks to do a step and accidentally move in the opposite direction, like he would say turn right, and go left instead. He is very confident and in that rare occasions that it happens, he would say:” I’m sorry about that, lets repeat that last part for the instructor”.
Here, he just acknowledges that he did a mistake, but is not a big deal, he corrects it by repeating the moves the way they should and moves on.
You can use your imagination or positive thinking to feel that things are better than they are, or feel better about something.
Earlier in the week I had a job interview, and one of the things that helped me to be relaxed was pretending that I was going to see an old friend, so I was ready to be friendly and smiling and of course he/she was interested in knowing everything about what I had been up to in the past years since I pretended that we haven’t seen each other in a long time.
- Remembering past successes
Keep in mind those times when you felt good about yourself, having a good image about ourselves is essential to feel confident.
I really don’t like cooking, but I have a special dessert that is easy to make and is always a hit. I definitively feel confident about bringing it to any reunion.
- Stay positive
Do affirmations, yes, that pep talk or positive statements that describe in positive words a desired situation, goal, events or habits. These statements are repeated often with the purpose of influence our actions. Post notes in your bedroom or inside your wallet so that they are a constant reminder of this statements.
I hope you are feeling more confident already.